With IBS, Stress Management is Key. But how? Meet your Neurotic Inner Roommate & your Unwritten Rules

You notice that familiar bloating or gutache in your stomach. You've been to the doctors and hacked your diet but nothing is changing. You believe it could be "stress-related," but you don't know what to do about it.

You might also recognize it as something between anxiety and anticipation. Maybe it’s tension about an upcoming meeting. Or guilt about something you did or didn’t do. Or nothing obvious at all. Just your body whispering (or shouting), “Something’s not right.”

This is where we begin.

Meet Your Inner Roommate

Imagine you live with someone who never stops talking. They follow you into the bathroom, comment on your outfit, second-guess your breakfast, and narrate your day with a tone that swings between panic and passive-aggression.

You can’t see them—but you hear them constantly.

This is your inner roommate—a neurotic, sometimes rude, offten critical, inner voice that thinks it's keeping you safe by following a rigid set of rules, based on past experiences and half-processed fears. Most of us never consciously agreed to these rules. But they quietly shape how we think, what we expect, and how our bodies feel.

The Unwritten Rules Behind Your GI symptoms

Let’s break down what might actually be behind that stomachache, beyond digestion. When your Inner Roommate is yapping at you, your nervous system starts to get the message that things aren't safe around here. The threat though, is coming from your own unconscious mind! When your nervous system thinks things aren't safe around her is starts to give you SYMPTOMS, so you'll take care of the problem. Symptoms can be as varied as the weather, like bloating, constipation, diahhrea nausea.

Becoming aware of your inner roommates dialogue is a good way to start sending your nervous system a message of safety. Here are some of the rules your inner roommate is following, even though you don't know it!

Interpretation: “They haven’t responded—something’s wrong.”

• You send a message. No reply. Your inner roommate starts pacing:“They must be mad. You messed up. You’re probably too much again.”

• Your body: heart races, breath shortens, stomach knots.

Assumption: “If I don’t handle everything, it will all fall apart.”

• You feel sick but canceling anything feels impossible.

• Your inner roommate insists: “Resting is selfish. Everyone is counting on you.”

• Your body: clenched jaw, acid stomach, tight chest.

Limiting Belief: “I have to be good to be safe.”

• You say yes when you mean no. You smile when you want to cry.

• You learned early that being easygoing kept the peace.

• Your body: chronic tension, fatigue, headaches.

These mental patterns often precede the physical symptoms—not just follow them. They create a background buzz of unease that your nervous system starts to interpret as danger, even if the threat is long gone.

Why for IBS, stress management works

When we live according to these inner rules long enough, the body adapts to the stress. It becomes hyper-vigilant, over-responsive. Sensations like stomach pain, dizziness, or fatigue become stuck patterns—an echo of the body trying to protect you from something it doesn’t quite understand.

That doesn’t mean the pain is “just in your head.” It means your whole system—body, brain, and story—is involved.

And that means you can shift it.

You Can Rewrite the Rules

You don’t need to evict your inner roommate. You just don’t have to let them run the place.

Start by becoming aware. Awareness is the opening. The moment you hear your inner roommate ranting about how disappointing you are, you’ve already taken the first step out of the trance.

Then ask:

• Whose voice is this, really?

• Do I still want to live by this rule?

• What else might be true?

• How would I show up if I trusted my body instead of feared it?

Let the answers come slowly. They might surprise you. This is not a mindset “hack.” It’s an unlearning and a re-learning. A return to your own voice.

An Example: Rewriting the Rule

Old rule: “I must always keep it together.”New truth: “I can fall apart and still be whole.”

Old rule: “If my body feels bad, something’s wrong with me.”New truth: “My body is speaking. I’m learning how to listen.”

Old rule: “I can’t trust myself.”New truth: “I’m practicing trust, one breath at a time.”

This Work Is Brave

It takes guts (no pun intended) to examine what you believe—especially the unconscious stuff that’s been keeping you “safe.” But if you want a different relationship with your body, this is the work.

Not to fight the symptoms.

But to understand the system.

To bring compassion to the voice in your head—and offer your body a new story to live into.

One that feels more like you.

With all physical symptoms, not just IBS, stress management and the work of getting to know yourself is the key. Schedule a free discovery meeting with Dr. Libby Trausch here.